The subject of Billy’s Notes From The Underground this week is ‘mystery’, which gives Knight Industries’ resident tech a chance to reveal his Patented Presolved Mystery Solutions!

“There are mysteries everywhere we look,” he writes. “Well, to the untrained eye, at least. As a man of science, though, I don’t believe in mysteries. If you can’t explain something, then you’re just not trying hard enough. As my old college professor used to say -– ‘a mystery is merely a story without a proper ending.'”

Here are two of his pre-solved mystery solutions:

“A person is found dead in a room with no windows and just one door that’s locked from the inside,” he writes. “He’s also been shot in the head, and the gun lays by his side. The death must be suicide, right? Wrong! It’s foul play! Check the walls. You’ll find that one wall is newer than the other three. That’s because the killer built his own wall and is currently hiding behind it. Why? Insurance fraud! You’ll find his life insurance policy substantially changes in the event of suicide, which is why someone went to a great deal of trouble to stage one.”

The second, more relevant mystery and its solution: “Your former army drill sergeant is found dead, and the local sheriff claims it’s a drug overdose? Don’t believe him!! Small town sheriffs are frequently in cahoots with the local underground fight club organizers. Your old army friend was actually murdered by the fight club organizer and the sheriff helped cover it up.”

If you have any presolved mystery solutions — or you think “boats” are funnier than “sandwiches”, head on over and tell him at:

Notes From the Underground: Crime-Solving, Billy Style, Part 1